A blog about marriage.

Marriage was originally created to join families of power together, for monetary reasons or for power reasons. Usually it was both. There are still arranged marriages to this day. I, personally, find it a horrible concept. I could never be with someone I didn't love.

I was recently watching 'Charmageddon' by Hal Sparks on YouTube and he was expressing his view that marriage was outdated and has outlived it's purpose. Which I admit, I have to agree. We no longer need to unite families of power, or unite two families so that we own certain land. In this day and age we marry because of LOVE. Some people may say because of religion and love. But for me it's not about anything but love. I found my soul mate, so I chose to be his wife. We were married in a Christian fashion, because sadly, it's the only ceremony legally recognized in the US. Since we are Pagan, we had to perform our own handfasting ceremony ourselves, because it is so hard to find someone who is willing to do it. This is what we felt best for US. Not everyone wants to be legally married, and honestly, that's perfectly fine. I know couples who are happier just being 'engaged' or what not, than most married couples we know. Matter of fact out of the couples who were married in Chad's old unit we are one out of 15 who are still married. Insane? Yes. Sometimes people feel forced into marriage, and that doesn't make for a happy life. BUT, and this is where my rant kicks in, I have a situation that is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you are a guy, who just so happens to care for a lady, she gets pregnant, they stay together, but he gives her nothing. Let me give you a hint guys: If a woman will have a child for you, she is most probably willing to do just about anything for you. Having a child is nothing to sneeze at. These couples will stay together YEARS and still they do not progress toward anything. That would drive me NUTS. You have to give your lady something to hold onto when things get rough. This also goes for the ladies. I have a solution to this. Three words: A. Promise. Ring. It's not a wedding ring. It's not a legal contract binding you two together, it's a promise. A promise to love one another. A promise that you will be true. A promise that when things get rough, you will fight to keep the love alive. That is what we [Chad and I] see our wedding rings as. An everlasting promise to one another, through thick and thin, that we'll always be US. And I can't stand guys who will not make that promise, whether married or not. If you've been together more than four years in most states you are 'common law' married, so why is it so hard to just make a promise? Like I said, give her something to hold onto. But I must say, what annoys me even more than that are the women who stay and waste years in hopes that someday he'll marry her. More likely than not, he won't. That's just the way it is.

Then there are the people who whine about their relationships all the time and then you tell them they should probably leave because it just seems like a not-so-great situation, and they tell you, "I'm staying because of the kid [or kids]." REALLY? I'm sorry but I don't think you are. I think you are staying because you feel you can't find anyone better than what you have, and in most cases that's a horrible perception. It usually means your self esteem is extremely low and you're not really loving yourself. Rise above that and know your soul mate is out there and it doesn't have to be the person that 'knocked you up'. I say constantly how parents are the first teachers for children. What would you rather teach your child? - A) It's better to be a strong independent intelligent person who is capable of being an adult and making adult decisions, no matter how hard they may be at that time. In other words, BEING HAPPY. B) Be in a situation because you are lazy or completely delusional about what exists and what doesn't. In other words, not being true to yourself and BEING UNHAPPY. Would you rather your child see you happy than to see fighting all the time? If you are a woman who has a daughter, would you want her to grow up and stay in a situatioin just because? I would think you'd want her to be a strong intelligent woman, instead of someone who ends up some sort of slave. The same goes with having a son. Would you want him to treat his future girlfriends/wives in this way? Most people the answer will be, no. BUT yet, they will do absolutely nothing to help their situations. It's frustrating when you try to help someone who has no interest in helping themselves. So then, what exactly do you do? Nothing. I do absolutely nothing. Everyone has to learn the hard way a time or two, and this is their time. My time has passed and I have one amazing life now. One that I am thankful for every single day, every single second.

I have to add this in because it's something else I feel VERY strongly about. Same-Sex Marriage.
Who are we to tell a person who she/he can or cannot love? Who are we to tell someone they cannot get married just because most of society sees it as 'an abomination'? Love is love. Love knows no gender, race, creed, or distance. What are people so afraid of? Are they bitter because they themselves cannot find true love and these couples have? It just sparks so many questions in me. I can't comprehend it. And it also breaks my heart. BUT lately we have seen an uprise of society standing up and supporting Same-Sex Marriage. As well they should. These nay-sayers, however, seem to think if they can prevent their marriages that maybe they can stomp out their being homosexual. Yea, I don't think so. Unless you can go back in time and keep their mother from conceiving, I don't think you can prevent anything. Being gay is not a disease. It's not a mental condition and it's also not a choice. It's who they are. Period. End of story. End of rant. Accept it or get out of their damn way.